Who is paying for your wedding?

The tradition used to be that the Brides' family paid for most things, and the Grooms' family were responsible for the alcohol, the honeymoon and the marriage certificate. Years ago there were more routine customs. The lines were more defined and the information was obvious.

But nowadays, it seems (talking to some of my Brides), that there has been a shift of how the wedding gets paid for. I have found that more Brides and Grooms contribute financially to their wedding costs, then say, 15 years ago. I believe this is a combination of two things; the increased costs involved in having a wedding, and the desire to have a more elaborate celebration.

As a vendor in the wedding industry, I try to keep the Bride as my client. There have been times when parents' call me (on the sly) and ask for changes in the budget. They believe that since they are paying for it, they can make significant changes. This puts us wedding vendors in an awkward position, and before you know it, I am playing armchair psychologist!

If you are finding that having your parents paying for the entire wedding is getting stressful, try this...Ask your parents if they can be responsible for certain areas of the wedding, such as reception food and drink. The other contributors (perhaps your future in-laws), can then be marked for flowers and cake. It is a simple way of delegating financial responsibilities without stepping on too many toes.